Day 3

Right outside of Vegas you could stop and get alien jerky...my first thought is it made from real aliens or just like fake Spielberg aliens???

some of the beautiful scenery that we came across...

some fruit trees that belong to Dole farms...or at least that what I thought they said

driving past the strip on our way out. We could see the ginormous spot light of the Luxor from our hotel. We stayed right across from the Rio and the Palms...never left the hotel room but I bet they were both great

Day 3 las Vegas- San Luis Obispo

Hot...damn hell friggin' hot. The cleavage sweat produced would have made a great slip n slide but it that wasn't enough friggin' elbow crook sweat too. Can't turn on the A/C cause Tilly (my mini van) would have just ejected us out the van and flipped us off on the way by. Our big turn from one major interstate to the next was in Bakersville...pretty sure that the same dude who invented bras, pantyhose, and corsets developed this friggin' town. Paint this pretty little picture driving out of the Mojave desert (which we have previously stated is hot, damn hell friggin' hot) and finally get to a real town with lush green foliage and wonderfully landscaped homes. We're happy, the dogs are happy, the van is happy...the damn road dead ends with no indications of where to pick it back up would be...maps are no help and BOTH our GPS systems all but laughed us and told us we were screwed. So we pulled into a gas station and asked for directions...yup I'm a chick so I'm not afraid of to ask for directions. We got the directions after trying to understand a wonderful little Asian man with a very thick accent. He was full of no shit when he said that the road we were looking for was very tough to drive. It had LOADS of pin-hair turns (I believe he said corkscrew turns {insert very thick Asian accent} no cars, and you can't go very fast) and no more than 40 miles an hour. We finally saw turns for our final destination of San Luis Obispo (SLO to other peeps) and were very happy that we were at the finish line. Sure as shit got HELLA lost again. Turning around every 5 min. or so with a U-Haul 2 girls that were gnarly and sweaty, and 2 doggies that really needed to pee gets a little tense and thank god the campground person gave us good directions. We got to our campsite, set up camp and made some stellar PBJ's.

Here are the lessons that we learned from Day 3:

When pulled over in the Mojave desert, in the actual town of Mojave at a very random airport where there is shade that is provided by an overhang where they are fixing wings, there will be crows there...lurking...ready to peck your eyeballs out (for anyone who knows me knows that I am DEATHLY afraid of birds and when I'm Queen of the world they will be at their own location no where near me). The crows foot that is covered in ants is not good or appropriate dog treats.

Apparently if you are a semi driver you are able to stop in the middle of the road put on your hazards get out of your cab and walk into Carls Jr order some food and slowly walk back. Thusly making other vehicles think that they are waiting for you to turn and are uncertain as to why you are not doing so....friggin' bastard.

Never doubt the tiny Asian man that gives you directions. You may not be able to understand what the hell he is saying but I'll be damned if he ain't right...

Prior to driving down the road out of Vegas make sure the items that were previously placed on the roof of your van, ie a dog dish or two, are put back into the van. If not they are not they will be come airborne and fly off your roof into the traffic that is behind you thusly pissing off the drivers behind you. To anyone that may have been one of the drivers behind me I am sorry for the inconvenience and the dog food that have been pummeled at your car.

One word...TUNNELS...they should put them in the GD turns all along HWY 58

Make sure that you get to hug your long lost friend at least twice before you leave to further your journey...you never kjnow when you'll see them again.

There should always be a 5 minute 5mile rule. If you don't know where you are in either 5minutes or 5miles you stop and ask for directions.

Chocolate malts or shakes will make the hottest of deserts all better.

When you come across people at a campsite that tell you they are from Holland is not appropriate to start quoting Austin Powers 3...I'm from Holland isn't that weird...or what about your Fajah your Fajah..you know your Father....it's dipped in gooooooooooolllllllllddddddddd...not appropriate but very funny throughout the trip.

It's sooo bullshit to pay for a campsite and then have to pay 75 cents to take a shower that is only 5 seconds long and pretty friggin' cold

Always...and I mean always have the driver put on sunscreen for the driving arm.