Day 4

So these are a little out of order...but just deal OK? So after getting lost on the way out of San Fran we FINALLY found our way (never rely on a friggin phone GPS, it needs to update all the time) and crossed over the huge, foggy bridge it was awesome. It made me want to jump off...NOT in an off my way kinda ordeal, but more like a Lost Boys moment when they jump off a cliff and into nothingness


So this is across from where we stayed in SLO there were plenty of late baseball games so we got lulled to sleep by the gentle sounds of "easy out, easy out....this pitcher sucks..." I wanted to run over and chant pitchers got a big butt, pitchers got a big butt, however severe sleep deprivation stopped me from getting up.
Some curvy road that Katie took a picture of...she was in charge of both cameras...I was in charge of NOT getting into a car accident



Day 4 San Luis Obispo-San Fransisco
So when we finally got to the campsite for the night it wasn't dark so we were actually able to put up the tent and not sleep under the stars. We got everyone situated, which for never using this tent before and never setting it up it only took about 20 minutes. Not to shabby I think. We had the most delicious PBJs, apples and powerade. Then we crashed...and crashed hard. Got up the next day refreshed and ready to see some ocean. As we weaved our way up Hwy one (sorry kids my one key doesn't work so I can't type the number, nor get really excited with punctuation as it's my exclamation also) we stopped to look at some Elephant Seals that were sunning themselves on the beaches. My blind dog Piglet could smell and hear them but obviously couldn't see them so she was going ballistic as to the whereabouts of these "other" animals. Kind of funny, also sad. The drive up the coast was very beautiful, but very curvy (like me) and when hauling that much stuff not so fun. So midway through we jumped from one to one-o-one, much better driving. We found a hotel that was dog friendly and NOT right downtown San Fran. It wasn't that much to taxi it downtown, and then hop a trolley to the wharf. The dogs were chill back at the hotel while we had a blast on the wharf. We got back and they hadn't destroyed the room, or made any messes (double bonus). We had a great nights sleep, had some Denny's in the morning and headed out...but got WICKED lost. Finally found out where we needed to be and drove over the Golden Gate bridge with some killer awesome fog over it (see the above pictures)...the rest will be in Day 5.
Here are the tips from the day though.....
When picking a camping spot after a long day of driving and getting lost and driving etc...look for signs of what is around you. Like signs that say watch out for snakes...or ticks for your dog...or snakes...or other larger woodland creatures that will eat your dog....or snakes. Also try and pick a spot that does not roll downhill, and is covered in cacti. Not doing any of the aforementioned will for sure lead you to get tweaky at little nosies. Once you get into your sleeping bag after getting the dogs settled and start rolling down hill, and then having to quickly rearrange the WHOLE tent will make you look for hills in your next spot. Also having to pick out cacti from dogs, blankets, pillows, pretty much anything for the next 3 days will have you pre-scope your site.
Always have a surplus of quarters in the van so you are able to shower after a hot, dirty, long car ride.
Make sure to stop and see the cool things that you may not get to see everyday...ie Elephant Seals
As beautiful as a drive as Hwy one is DO NOT take it if you are hauling a U-haul, and an older minivan, and may need a break job.
Make sure you get gas prior to going on Hwy one...you will be paying out the bum in the middle of nowhere with nothing else around for 75 miles. You will be FORCED to pump premium only at 4.96 a gallon. As I cried while shelling out 75.00 for the gas I told my van to not get use to it as this would NEVER happen again.
To save some sanity never get a hotel in a major city that you have never driven in hauling everything you own. Thankfully we realized this before we booked a hotel in the city. A cab ride after driving for 4 days is blessing...even if it does scare the ever lovin' out of you. While in said cab ride it's best not to watch how the driver is driving and set your sights on what is going on outside of the side windows.
Trolley rides in SF do not allow drinks on them...so the venti Carmel Macchioto that your friend has just purchased will have to be slammed by both of you in 5 minutes. No matter how hot it is, or the fact that you just finished your own tall drink which was iced. Mind you, we're in SF known for it's hills...on a trolley...with no real food in our bodies for 3 days...and just slammed a BUNCH of coffee.
As a girl from the Midwest, and from Colorado there is nothing more amazing than dipping your feet in the ocean. Even if it's really cold.
Despite what you were told growing up, it's OK to talk to strangers; sometimes they are pretty funny.
Always be camera ready. You never know when a great and awesome photo op will happen.
Not all graffiti is bad, some of can turn into beautiful pieces of art that are amazing to watch being done.
Pondering why cable cars have engines if they are on cables...I know mind blowing.
Trolley drivers don't care if everyone is not shower fresh like you are. They want you to be pits-to-tits at all times.
There is nothing wrong with taking 3 showers in a 24 hour period...note the above mentioned shower fresh.
Trevor is the best waiter at the Rainforest Cafe (yup that's right we ate there, and loved it). He gave us all the cool local hangouts to go to...we didn't go to any of them, be we didn't have the heart to tell him.
Day 5 to come next....San Fran to Eureka

Day 3

Right outside of Vegas you could stop and get alien jerky...my first thought is it made from real aliens or just like fake Spielberg aliens???

some of the beautiful scenery that we came across...

some fruit trees that belong to Dole farms...or at least that what I thought they said

driving past the strip on our way out. We could see the ginormous spot light of the Luxor from our hotel. We stayed right across from the Rio and the Palms...never left the hotel room but I bet they were both great

Day 3 las Vegas- San Luis Obispo

Hot...damn hell friggin' hot. The cleavage sweat produced would have made a great slip n slide but it that wasn't enough friggin' elbow crook sweat too. Can't turn on the A/C cause Tilly (my mini van) would have just ejected us out the van and flipped us off on the way by. Our big turn from one major interstate to the next was in Bakersville...pretty sure that the same dude who invented bras, pantyhose, and corsets developed this friggin' town. Paint this pretty little picture driving out of the Mojave desert (which we have previously stated is hot, damn hell friggin' hot) and finally get to a real town with lush green foliage and wonderfully landscaped homes. We're happy, the dogs are happy, the van is happy...the damn road dead ends with no indications of where to pick it back up would be...maps are no help and BOTH our GPS systems all but laughed us and told us we were screwed. So we pulled into a gas station and asked for directions...yup I'm a chick so I'm not afraid of to ask for directions. We got the directions after trying to understand a wonderful little Asian man with a very thick accent. He was full of no shit when he said that the road we were looking for was very tough to drive. It had LOADS of pin-hair turns (I believe he said corkscrew turns {insert very thick Asian accent} no cars, and you can't go very fast) and no more than 40 miles an hour. We finally saw turns for our final destination of San Luis Obispo (SLO to other peeps) and were very happy that we were at the finish line. Sure as shit got HELLA lost again. Turning around every 5 min. or so with a U-Haul 2 girls that were gnarly and sweaty, and 2 doggies that really needed to pee gets a little tense and thank god the campground person gave us good directions. We got to our campsite, set up camp and made some stellar PBJ's.

Here are the lessons that we learned from Day 3:

When pulled over in the Mojave desert, in the actual town of Mojave at a very random airport where there is shade that is provided by an overhang where they are fixing wings, there will be crows there...lurking...ready to peck your eyeballs out (for anyone who knows me knows that I am DEATHLY afraid of birds and when I'm Queen of the world they will be at their own location no where near me). The crows foot that is covered in ants is not good or appropriate dog treats.

Apparently if you are a semi driver you are able to stop in the middle of the road put on your hazards get out of your cab and walk into Carls Jr order some food and slowly walk back. Thusly making other vehicles think that they are waiting for you to turn and are uncertain as to why you are not doing so....friggin' bastard.

Never doubt the tiny Asian man that gives you directions. You may not be able to understand what the hell he is saying but I'll be damned if he ain't right...

Prior to driving down the road out of Vegas make sure the items that were previously placed on the roof of your van, ie a dog dish or two, are put back into the van. If not they are not they will be come airborne and fly off your roof into the traffic that is behind you thusly pissing off the drivers behind you. To anyone that may have been one of the drivers behind me I am sorry for the inconvenience and the dog food that have been pummeled at your car.

One word...TUNNELS...they should put them in the GD turns all along HWY 58

Make sure that you get to hug your long lost friend at least twice before you leave to further your journey...you never kjnow when you'll see them again.

There should always be a 5 minute 5mile rule. If you don't know where you are in either 5minutes or 5miles you stop and ask for directions.

Chocolate malts or shakes will make the hottest of deserts all better.

When you come across people at a campsite that tell you they are from Holland is not appropriate to start quoting Austin Powers 3...I'm from Holland isn't that weird...or what about your Fajah your Fajah..you know your Father....it's dipped in gooooooooooolllllllllddddddddd...not appropriate but very funny throughout the trip.

It's sooo bullshit to pay for a campsite and then have to pay 75 cents to take a shower that is only 5 seconds long and pretty friggin' cold

Always...and I mean always have the driver put on sunscreen for the driving arm.

Day 2

Katie and I in an air conditioned hotel room off the Vegas strip...who knew that air conditioning could be some AWESOME

Even the dogs were down for some A/C that night....awww how cute are they?

Somewhere between Moab Utah, and Las Vegas

A long lost high school friend Ryan whom I hadn't seen for....well let's just say since high school graduation which was awhile ago

Moab to Las Vegas...
this was a HELLA hot day. When they call it a desert they just aren't screwing around. It was hot...damn hot. However it ended in a kick ass place where a dear friend from high school met us and hung out talking about "the good old days".
The lessons learned from this leg of the trip are pretty good:
When in the middle of nowhere but the hot ass desert, and you pull over for gas and a quick trip to the bathrooms, if there is no toilet paper (which is par for the course on a long road trip) what works in a jiffy??? The paper liners for the seats that you put down prior to putting your ass on a nasty seat. WAAAAAY better than the alternatives of drip drying or the wonderful butt shake.
It really doesn't' matter if its a dry heat or not...95 degrees is hot DAMN HOT
When you can take a swim in your cleavage sweat or you are creating too much elbow sweat one can never take too many baths, be them actual bathrooms or what is lovingly referred as a "whores" bath.
Driving through 3 states in a day, no matter the size, is a shit-ton of driving. Which to give you an idea of how much a shit-ton is it's a little more than an ass load.
The actual road runner bird is not nearly as big as depicted in the cartoons nor is it purple nor was it being chased by a Wiley Coyote with random Acme signs.
We became aware of the fact that they arches in Moab apparently collapsed shortly after we left the area. No, we had nothing to do with it....or at least that's our story.
When I am Queen of the World ( which is my ultimate goal really) I will create roads under the other roads that are just for semi drivers. I am pretty convinced that there is some sort of magnet in my van that makes me want to get an up close and personal look at the bottom of semis...especially when we are on some wicked sharp turns.
When crossing into CA form NV you will get to go through a check point to make sure you are not bringing plant life into that state. They will make you open up your U-haul and as ask you about it. They never asked if I was transporting illegal immigrants (which I can neither confirm nor deny) but I better not try to bring in any form of plant life.
When asked how much further the answer will always be "Portland is just on the other side of the MT...desert...friggin' Las Vegas traffic...."whatever may be in the way at the time.
Stay tuned for day 3...

Day ONE

my view for the majority of my trip out to Portland...objects really do appear bigger in the mirror. I was convinced that we were getting into an accident with the U-haul that was so close in the mirror.dashboard jumpin' Jesus was like our own personal magic 8...he either told us I don't know or go with peace my children
some of the scenery we saw....forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever

This is the map that we used to get from Denver to Moab

Denver to Moab Utah...
So get this mental picture in your dome and then read: a mini van with quite a few miles, 2 girls that are mentally exhausted from just getting a smack down daily from kids with autism. 2 little dogs on of which is blind ( oh yeah that in itself makes for a hilarious story) a U-haul with everything that I own SMASHED into a 5x8 area some AAA maps, dashboard Jesus and the friggin' will to get to the days destination.
We didn't start out for our journey until 1pm cause I SERIOUSLY underestimated how long it would take to pack up the remaining odds-n-ends of my apartment. We got to the campsite at 11:30 pm. Tired, stressed, HOT, and not about to attempt to put up the tent that neither of us have put up before. So we took the dogs out, laid out our sleeping bags just right under the stars and slept....well kind of. I take ambien at night to try and get more than 2 hours of sleep per night. I had taken it and then the dog needed to be walked. So I went over to the bathrooms that when I walked there was just a few yards away, but by the time I tried (note the word TRIED) to walk back to our site the meds had kicked in. So as I'm walking I all of a sudden have myself convinced that I was lost. The terrain had gotten different so I thought I was REALLY lost and was in the middle of the desert and was NEVER going to get back to my sleeping bag...which was right in front of me. I had the fleeting thought of the Doors movie with Val Kilmer when he takes too many drugs and was in the desert and saw the Native American...or Homer Simpson when he eats the spicy pepper and starts tripping. I got to laughing so hard at the 2 very different thoughts and heard in my head if you build it they will come. YEP very aware that it's a totally different movie then the afore mentioned Doors movie, or the Simpsons. I made 2 laps around the the campground before I found my van with the U-haul, and got into the sleeping bag. Woke up around 8am and got back on the road. Here are the following tips, and reflections of the first day:
While hauling a trailer with EVERYTHING that you own do not try and swirve to avoid hitting a rabbit...U-Hauls don't take quick movements well and let's face it I'm not the best driver in the world.
While driving up Colorado passes Newtons Law of gravity become a very real force to be reckoned with. It may take you going up the side of a Mt. at around 11,00 ft at 25 miles in hour with a shit-ton of stuff in a U-haul then flying down the opposite side of the pass at 60 miles an hour with very tight corners to realize that what goes up, must come down...and it will be hella fast on the way down.
If you are a spiritual person and have a dashboard Jesus super glued to your dashboard, it is quite okay to consult him on things. Depending on the amount of bumps in the road he will either be telling you to do it.....or I don't know.
Utah is a pretty little state that leads right into the bowels of hell known as the Mojave Desert...
An airport in the middle of nowhere Utah is kinda creepy when it's late and you've been driving FOREVER. It might be confused for a lighthouse (which there is not much use for one in UTAH as there are no major bodies of water)...or you might convince yourself that the mother ship has landed and aliens will be seizing your vehicle and ungodly probes will be done.
When debating about wearing your flip-flops in the shower at the campground consider which is the lesser of 2 evils: Having wet feet and getting red sand all over OR getting a raging case of athletes foot...which if you are a hypochondriac like me you are CERTAIN that athletes foot will lead to gangrene and the loss of your your foot and probably the whole leg. Which I had just had a pedicure and I was NOT about to jack it up with losing the foot....
Day 2 will be coming tomorrow...

Why Portland

So lemme tell everyone why I just drove from Denver to Portland OR...it will hopefully inspire others to follow this blog and help me out.
So I graduated from culinary/baking pastry school, yep that's right a real honest-to-goodness chef. The only thing I realized is that I don't want to be a line chef...turns out I don't take direction well from others and I'm REALLY good at delegating jobs out.
I have a strong back round in working with special needs persons and just spent the last school year working with broad spectrum autism kids. So I started thinking on how I can combine the two passions into one....here's what I came up with.
I moved here to Portland to try and open up a restaurant that will be called Today's Special and have about 40% of the staff be special needs. Wheelchair accessible chef's tables in the back, Braille on the menus, an ASL interpreter, and picture menus...those are just a few of the things that I want to do. I have it all planned in my head, I just need the financial backing of an investor.
That's where friends, family, and just about anyone else who will listen to me comes into play. Through Pepsi they are giving away a million dollars a month to different grants. It's called the Pepsi refresh grant. Once things get settled here I'm going to start working on the business plan, and the grant proposal. I don't want to have a big place a smaller place that has a great comfort food.
So please tell everyone you know about this, and get them to vote when the time comes.

For now the next few blogs will be about the trip out here, daily reflections on things, people and places that got me from there to here. So buckle up, put on some sunscreen and be prepared to laugh.
There is a small caveat that I must address. I may not always be the most PC person that I know so if there are things that offend I pre-apologise.....
Hang on 'cause here we go kids...

getting there

So we are on the last half of our trip. I was unable to do any updates, however we were taking notes and doing reflections. So once I can get to a better Internet connection I'll do a day by day with some pictures. I know that there were some complications with people getting to log on...I hope I have hammered those out but we'll see.
So were about to leave San Fran and head to Eureka to go stay at the Rd Wood Forest, then tomorrow we"ll be in Portland!!!
Gotta pack and get on the road hope to do some more tomorrow

Oh, if you are finally able to view this, give me a minute or tow to get the funny going...it's coming

Holy Hell

This will be brief...4 days still have a load of packing to do, get new tires, get better (friggin' cold), pack a U-haul, and pray that my van makes it out for the drive. Gonna have more updates, but probably not until I get on the road.